Update

Well, it turns out that Baby Brother is being returned to Christina. Honestly, that makes my heart happy. That means that C is doing well and worked her plan. In my mind she is still a child, neglected by her mom, her grandmother, the state. I am glad to hear that she is fighting back.

By accident I ended up getting the phone number of the man who is over foster care and adoption in the state of TN. I explained my situation and our story. He was very nice, and very professional. he acted distraught to hear of all that we went through and that we will never foster again due to the actions, or lack there of, of DCS. He gave me phone number after phone number of people involved in the case and encouraged me to call, and at the end of this call I actually felt a glimpse of gratitude and remorse from the Department's perspective. Well, as you can probably imagine, that was short lived.

I did as he told me to do. I started with Satan's supervisor, *Shit for Brains. So I called *SFB and started explaining who I was and why I was calling. It only went south from there. It went something like this...

Me: Hi SFB, My name is Katie **** and I am calling b/c we just found out that our daughter's biological brother is in foster care and has been in custody for almost all of his life. He is now 17 months old and we have never once received a call asking for placement, or even a visit. We would like to get to the bottom of this for HER sake.

SFB: Oh, well, Mrs. ****, you do realize that our job is to REUNITE families correct?

(It was clear that she knew exactly who I was... B/C, well, in their dilusional world, if you advocate for the foster children in your home, then of course you are simply trying to steal children out of foster care and adopt them for yourself. Haaaaa. That's why we sent several other babies to other oster homes, and declined a few referrals.) Haaaa again!

Me: Yes, I understand reunification, that is not the point. The point is that this child has been in custody for over a year and a half and never once was given the opportunity to meet her BIOLOGICAL baby brother.

SFB: Well, this child is going home (in a very snotty voice.) This mother has worked her plan. And THIS (as if we kidnapped Lydia from under their eyes) will be going HOME!

Me: GOOD! That is GREAT news for him and for C. That means C is doing well and working her plan. But that is not my point. I want some answers as to why we were never contacted and my daughter has not been able to see her brother.

Me and SFB - Got at it bantering back and forth. She can't seem to understand simple

SFB: Mam, I don't have answers for you. I will have to get back to you.

Me: Of course you don't. GOOD. I will look forward to hearing back from you shortly.

SFB: Uhhh, Uhhhh, well it won't be today. I have other children and emergency situations to deal with.

Me: Of course you do SFB. Goodbye.

Do you think I have heard a word since then?? Hell NO.

So, I call back the "professional, caring, director" I spoke with the first time and was completely dismissed. He assured me he would call me back first thing in the morning. Haaaaa.

Well, I suppose we should cut them all a little break. I am confident SFB has some kind of associates degree in...ummm. probably how to sharpen pencils. Mr. Professional might have a real live college degree giving his ranking in the system. My guess is that is is something like a bachelor's degree in cosmotology.

Who knows... But this I do know... I am not a dentist or a lawyer, or a teacher and I would never be allowed to practice as one without the proper education and lisence. So why do these yahoo's get to "play" SOCIAL WORKER in MY FIELD (that I spent TONS OF MONEY AND TIME to achieve) only to F up REAL PEOPLE'S LIVES??

I don't get it. It hurts my heart.

What to do next? I don't know. Perhaps several of us should ban together from state to state and tell our stories?! Maybe we should all work together to CHANGE things.

Thoughts?

War Back On

It turns out that Lydia's biological baby brother is in foster care. We knew that C had another baby and that it was a boy. We also knew that he was born just a few weeks before or after Zac. I also know this baby's name. What I didn't know up until a week ago is that this baby boy is IN FOSTER CARE and we were NEVER contacted. DCS policy states that siblings whether adjudicated or not shall be attempted to be placed together and at the very least shall have scheduled visits.

I am LIVID. ABSOLUTELY LIVID!!! Oh, and guess who the caseworker is... YEP.. you guessed it...SATAN WOMAN from hell. The worker that would have given her right arm to have Lydia taken from us.

I WILL get to the very bottom of this. I am beyond LIVID. I will never stop advocating for children, especially my own. What the hell does that woman NOT UNDERSTAND about that? Did she not learn anything about us during our 3 years at war? We will fight for each and every last right for our daughter. We did as her foste parents and we we will now and forever as her adoptive parents!

More later... I am waaaay too angry!!

P.S. I stole "Satan" from Snarky Mom. I couldn't help it. I think we both had the same caseworker. Is that possible?

Just Stuff

This is just s smattering of stuff going on...

I am reading this book.
My friends, Stacy and Annie recommended it to me. It is freaking hysterical. It is so wrong on so many levels, but you just can't help but laugh. It's like a bad wreck you just can't take your eyes off of. You know it's wrong, but my gawd, you just HAVE TO watch, or laugh in my case. So, I highly recommend it if you aren't easily offended.

AND This BOY...

Is talking up a storm.
-What's that?
-Who's that?
- Byeeeeee Yidia
- Hiiiiiii Yidia
- Daddy
- Stop that!
- And absolutely anything else he wants to say if he is in the mood. The VERY best though... He counts to FIVE, and will sing the ABC's. I HAVE to get it on video. It's too GREAT!

We made a very quick trip to PURDUE this weekend to see the Northwestern/Purdue game. Ughhh, it was agony watching the Boilers turn over the ball and miss opportunity after opportunity. The kids were awesome though (even though the game was FREEZING) and had a lot of fun playing with the other kids, Megan and Owen. We stayed with some of Seth's best friends and were also able to see several others. All in all it was a fun weekend minus the final score, but my camera really didn't make it out much while we were there. And I am BUMMED we didn't get to see the Taylor's. Oh well... Next time.

We have a weekend at home this weekend - No football games to attend. Yaaaa. We love football, but it's been a busy fall so far and our teams are crappy. We really need to get some projects done around the house. Hopefully we will.

I am now trying my best to keep up with two blogs. I will continue to post the present on this blog and my private blog will always hold our past. That's not to say that I won't share stories from our past or need to vent about some of the craziness of it all from time to time here, because I know I will.

Ohhh, one more thing. We are hosting a Halloween Costume Party in a few weeks and have yet to decide on costumes. We really like to make a big deal of it... any suggestions?

Desserts

Yuuum. Desserts are my absolute favorite! Here is my addition to Kelly's Korner. Head over there for more.

Apple Crisp

10 Granny Smith Apples
1/2 C. Sugar
1/2 C. Margarine-melted
9 Oz. Yellow Cake Mix
1 t. Cinnamon

Place peeled, cored and sliced apples in a greased 8x12 inch pan.
Combine sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over the apples.
Top with dry cake mix, then drizzle the butter over the top.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
-Serve with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and warm caramel sauce.

I wish I had a picture but I don't. It is soooo YUM though! If you happen to try it, I hope you enjoy!

Here and Now

So on to the present...

Work is kicking my butt. I picked up another day in the district and now I only have Fridays off. I am conflicted about all of this but all in all, it's ok.

Football season is not going well at all, but we are enjoying it nonetheless. Seth and I went to Oregon to the Purdue Vs. Oregon game. The outcome was unpleasant, but the trip was lots of fun. The kids stayed with Grandma and Grandpa, so it was a vacay for them as well (and I don't mean for my mom and dad). haaa.

Vandy is playing but not winning. If you like football you know what I mean.

Zachary is talking up a storm now, but only on his terms. He has to be the cutest little boy in the world though. At least he is to his momma.

Lydia is all about getting her nails and toenails painted, but not by me. It has to be from the little girly salon Sweet and Sassy. It's a totally CUTE place and she has been talking about it forever. Well, we have had a couple weeks of her getting out of bed and coming in to our room over and over in the middle of the night. That makes for crabby parents so I came up with an idea.

She has a bedtime chart with VERY special princess stickers she can use IF she stays in bed all night. Haaaaa. It has worked like a charm. I told her if she gets 5 stickers in a row, (meaning staying in bed 5 nights in a row) I would take her to Sweet and Sassy to get her nails done. As you can see, she's 3 for 3. Yaaaaa Lydi!

I let her place her stickers herself so there is not much rhyme or reason, but it's working so HEY...

She was getting up so frequently that this became a learned behavior, almost like a habit. I am hoping this will break this habit and once the fingernails are painted, we can move on and get back to a normal night time routine without all the FLUFF!

Seth celebrated a BIRTHDAY on the 14th. It was low key, but the kids LOVE birthdays so we tried to make big deal about it. We had just gotten home from Oregon the night before and I had to work all day the next day. So, GiGi's Cupcakes it was... Oh, they are to DIE FOR! I can't believe I didn't get pics of the actual cupcakes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

Here are a few pictures of our lives lately. Enjoy...Glad to be back!

Lydia hanging with the Vanderbilt Cheerleaders! Fun Times with my friend Annie

I love this Baby more than life itself!

He tried so hard to hang in there at the game...
And he's OUT!Lydia started back to dance!! Of course she LOVES IT!

LIFE IS GOOD!

On Second Thought...

Wow, I really thought I would be a lot better about blogging. I love to write. I love to read. I have kept a private blog for 3 years now and I was pretty good about blogging there. What's up?

I think I finally figured it out. After a lot of thought and soul searching, I have realized why I am not sitting down and blogging.

I changed my blog from a private, password restricted blog to this very public, "hello world here we are blog" because I wanted to help others. My nightmare was over and I now had all this information, and experience and knowledge and I knew I needed to do something with it. I knew that I wanted other potential adoptive and foster parents to know what we knew. I would have given my right arm to have this knowledge under my belt when we were battling the courts, and navigating through international and domestic adoption, not to mention infertility. A lot of heart ache and aggravation can be saved if you are educated on these areas. And I am here to tell you, it is not easy to come by, especially if you are in the thick of your own experiences.

So, I came here as a platform of information and experience, hoping to reach out and advocate. But, in this process I realized I am not ready to do this. It's not that I am not ready to share and help others. I am just not ready to sit down and relive it all yet. The stories and experience are still to raw. I still have nightmares of Lydia being taken away, and Zac being left in the hospital. It was too much to sit down and dig it all back up. I would leave the computer exhausted and therefore, I would just avoid it all together.

I was also completely conflicted with putting The Bug's story out there for the world to dissect. Sure, Seth and I went through hell and back and yes, I want to help others...BUT, this is Lydia's story too and I am not sure that it is fair of me to share HER story, at least not so publicly.

And then I feel bad because, how do I help others but not tell my story. Well, I have thought about that too. I am going to renew my former private blog. Our story was documented from day one. If you are a follower and I have gotten to know you...email me. I will send you the link and the password.

But as for THIS blog...I want to keep it in the HERE and NOW. I want to rejoice my kids and tell funny stories and also share my frustrations as a mom, wife and so on. This is our life now and I just want it to be light and fun.

I hope you all understand that I am STILL HERE if you have questions or know someone else who does. It is still very important to me to help. Foster and adoptive parents will always take a back seat to birth parents, but they still have rights, and everyone should know that.

Peace Out... You will be seeing me much more regularly now. Yaaaaa!

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!!!

GO DORES GO!!!!