Thursday, September 30, 2010

From My Perspective....PART ONE

Ok, not that my perspective means a hill of beans in this ginormous blogosphere, but when it comes to my experience with infertility, fostering, and adopting (both almost internationally, and domestically) I think I know just a little something. But yet, it's still just from MY perspective.
Recently, I fixed up two of our single friends. At first they hit it off quite well, but a month later (actually yesterday) one of them broke it off. I quickly learned my lesson as a matchmaker because I was caught right smack dab in the middle. It was entirely fascinating to me how DIFFERENTLY both of them perceived how the relationship was going and eventually its demise. I mean, they both shared the exact same experience and both saw it sooooo differently. NO wonder it didn't work out.

Anyhow, as I have had this post brewing in my head the last several weeks, I couldn't help of thinking and linking that example to all of the controversy I read all over the blogging world about adoption and infertility. Wow! I had NO idea there was so much disagreement, but there sure as hell is.

I have had a private blog since 2005. My blog started simply through a google search on international adoption. Five years ago I didn't even know what a blog was. I remember asking Seth and he vaguely explained it. I clicked on the site Journey To Me and wall-ahhh, I was able to read hundreds of different blogs from others who were also adopting/adopted overseas. What an awesome resource as we were blindly about to begin this journey. I have always loved to read and write and since we had just recently decided to abandon fertility treatment and move toward adoption I found a home here for my thoughts, fears and excitement. It started out so innocently. We were so excited and wanted to share our BIG news of our choice of international adoption! Little did we know it would turn into a blog about LYDIA and not the baby we were hoping to adopt from China.

That blog went on for a little bit better than three years. It became our safe haven to update our friends and family about Lydia and C and court dates, trials, advocacy, tears, joy and all the rest. It was RAW. It came from my heart. It spared us from coming home from disappointing visits and court hearings and having to rehash it a thousand times over to everyone that was loving us, supporting us and praying for us. We were up and down and all around and it was a journey I hope I never have to repeat. My blog was a therapeutic life saver for me at the time.
When we finally adopted Zachary and then two months later were FINALLY able to adopt Lydia I felt the need to share. I wanted to help. I remember the many conversations with Seth and a few others while we were fostering Lydia. I saw firsthand how terribly screwed up the foster system was and I was determined that once this ride with Lydia was over, I was going to change it! I was going to write letters and maybe a book. I knew I had to be a voice on behalf of all the foster children and foster parents out there. Even if it took screaming at the top of my lungs, I was going to scream! Well, you know how that goes. I did try. I did make a couple of lame attempts with a few connections I had made and ranted and raved a little. But I am ashamed to say, that's as far as I got at least from a community stand point. I'd like to place the blame on my sudden parenthood to a newborn and toddler, but honestly, I can't. I could have done more. I still could and should!

My guilt (remember I am Catholic haha) about not pursuing change in the system crept up on me and one day I had the brilliant idea of changing my private blog to a public blog to reach out to others who may have questions or need support in the arena of infertility/foster care/adoption and so forth. I could at least do that! I had all of this knowledge and experience from the inside out (I am also a Social Worker) and I would have given anything to have someone to talk to who had walked in similar shoes when I needed support or questions answered. And with that, my public blog started here.

Ok, so you know how when you are going through a horrific time in life you always feel like YOU are the ONLY one dealing with this hell, and NO ONE else could possibly understand - well - that was the place I was coming from after my experiences of finally having children of my own. And with that, I just knew what a HUGE help and difference I could make here on this PUBLIC blog. Hahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Ok, I had NO IDEA. Really? There are others out fact I am finding, there are TONS of others out there. It's been awesome to connect and read all of your stories - many that are still going through the heartache of infertility - or excited to begin their journey to adoption - OR- those that are battling for their foster children's rights against the ugliness of the system. I mean hell, I didn't even know what "followers" meant or how to comment - so you can imagine how surprised I was by all of YOU! LOL. But then, by accident through comments and other various posts here and there, I saw the flip side of the coin. I saw the strong community of adoptees' blogs and also birthmothers that have bonded together and I was hooked. I wanted to read and read and absorb absolutely every word they write. I wanted to know that world and try to understand and experience from THEIR perspective. I wanted that for Seth and me, but so much more than that, I wanted it for MY Children, and my children's BIRTHMOTHERS and FATHERS!

And I STILL DO! Every day I am reading their blogs and trying to learn from them.

To Be Continued...I Have to go switch the laundry around and pick up toys - More on simply MY perspective coming soon.

My (pre) Thoughts on Adoption Issues

Thanks for all the comments and thoughts on potty training and such. I think Zachy will be sporting undies this weekend. Wish us luck. ;)

On another note. I have noticed a lot of controversial blog posts and comments regarding adoption. I have been thinking about this for several days now and have a post of my own brewing in my head. Hopefully I can get my thoughts to the keyboard this afternoon.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Conquer and Prevail!

Our Vanderbilt Commodores WON this weekend. So did Purdue. It was a GREAT day in the Taylor house on Saturday.

Now can someone PLEASE tell me how to "Conquer and Prevail" (which by the way is a Vandy cheer!) with the binky and potty training?? Zachy is 2.5 and needs to tell the binkys and diapers GOODBYE!

At this point I feel like he is going to be starting Kindergarten with them.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Daddy wasn't able to spend his 36th birthday with us yesterday because he had to be at his annual "huddle" at work. In fact, he will be there all week. So Friday we will celebrate his birthday in style, but the kids and I celebrated yesterday in his honor.

Happy Birthday to the BEST Daddy and Husband we could ever Dream of. We love you!

Monday, September 13, 2010


I have decided that since I truly suck at writing in their baby books anymore, I really need to start writing, typing, videoing, DOING SOMETHING to keep track of the hilarious things that come out of these kids mouths.

Last week Lydia came home from preschool with her usual "daily sheet" explaining briefly about her day. Apparently she declared to her 65 year old (very sweet grandmotherly) teacher and the rest of the 4 and 5 year olds in her class that she was going to be a BARTENDER when she grew up!

Seriously? Oh Good Lord, Just shoot me now.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Blog Like A Champion Today!

We just got home from South Bend, where we spent the weekend at Notre Dame. Can you tell by my blog title? Haha. This explains it of you're not familiar. Everything you see there displays this slogan and so many more, "Drive like A Champion today" were signs in the parking lots, "Drink like A Champion Today" were slogans on student t-shirts and so on... So, I thought, hell, why not. Haha.

I LOVED the campus and all the tradition. I loved the beautiful Basilica and the Grotto. Purdue lost, so that kind of sucked, but it was an AWESOME weekend. Where else can you befriend two elderly nuns at a bar? TRUE STORY! We even exchanged addresses. It was a weekend to go down in the books! GREAT TIME! And here are a few pictures...

This was taken Friday, when we were touring campus.

ME with Touchdown Jesus!

The Purdue Football Trailer!

A little bit of Tailgating Going On...Seth enjoying a Diet Coke and....

Seth's Best Friend Brad and Me


We're already ready for next weekend! :) Happy Labor Day!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Excitment, Anticipation, and Wonder

It's THAT time of the year again! It's FOOTBALL SEASON! It's cooler weather, it's FALL! I LOVE the Fall! I love, love, love it! I love getting back into routine and opening the windows. I love to burn pumpkin and evergreen scent candles. I love watching football and wearing sweatshirts, and tailgating with friends. I love the reds and browns and bright orange everywhere. It's time for chili and garlic bread. And we are READY! Yipppeeee! Seth and I have tickets to the Purdue Vs. Notre Dame game in South Bend this weekend. We are so excited. The kids are going to my parents. We fly out Friday morning. I think the kids are excited as we are. :)

I am so glad that monday is a holiday and we get an extra day to hang out at home. We have a lot to do. We are diligently working on the house to get it ready to sell. Next week brings us back to BUSY at full speed ahead. The Bug will start back to weekly dance and swim lessons. Seth and I will start back to foster parent trainings. Weekends will be filled with LOTS of tailgating and football games.

This fall our house will become OPEN for fostering again and also be placed on the market. How that is going to work is yet to be determined. It will be interesting! It's exciting though!

I wonder what in the world the last part of 2010 will bring.