Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It hasn't even begun, yet it's ALREADY begun. I will give them to the end of today to return my call and then I am going to go bloody crazy on SOMEONE!
Check out this website...Go ahead, I'll wait.
Now, wouldn't you think that they would have people JUMPING on telephones when it rings with people interested in learning more about adopting a child? Wouldn't you think if by chance they (and they NEVER SHOULD) missed a call from an inquiring family they would call back? Wouldn't you think they would email back after an email from an interested family?
Yeah...well I digress, NOT SO MUCH. Makes me sick. What a tragedy for these poor kids. Why in the world would I expect anything different. Jeez.
OOOhhhh, and what in the world is up with the "family profiles"?? Seriously? Waiting families?? Families who WANT to adopt waiting for a teenager lost in the foster care system to be placed in their home forever? I am soooo CONFUSED!
And they wonder why they lose quality foster homes like me and my friends.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
HERE WE GO...
They had a blast, but I have to be honest...I kind of sucked the fun out of it. I completely FORGOT about it until 10 minutes before (even though I registered them a few days before and dropped off the 36 plastic eggs I stuffed). We were all still in jammies. Seth let me sleep in so I was just waking up - then I remembered. I was throwing the kids clothes down the stairwell ordering everyone around like soldiers. "We're going to be LAAAAATE!" I got several dirty looks from baby daddy, but hell, we wouldn't be doing this at all if it wasn't FOR ME! Haaaa.
Then, we played outside... ALL DAY LONG! This car came from my sister and her kids. It's at least 10 years old. You would think it was made out of chocolate the way MY kids were fighting over it like it was last bite they would ever taste.
It was a VERY windy day.
It's the small (and FREE) things in life according to the BUG.
Can't get enough of this girl and her enthusiasm. My sister and I joke that she will someday turn cart wheels, giggle and shout..."Yaaaa, I get to go to work today!" I swear, this is the kind of spirit this little soul has. I LOVE IT!
Lastly, I did it. I wrote a letter to Christina, Lydia's birthmom. I included a few of Lydia's ballet pictures and a asked Lydia if she anted to draw her a picture. Oh course she was sooooo excited. I sat with her and told her how to spell Christina. I hope this only means good things to come. We haven't seen or spoken to her in almost two years.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The system I am speaking of is the state, the department, the case workers, the red tape, the horrible communication, the lack of respect, the court system, the worthless and burned out attorneys, the suppose to be child advocates, the bullshit goes on and on. And I am just not sure that I am willing to dive back into that or not. The one and only reason we were able to adopt Lydia was by the grace of the God, and I mean that literally! If the case workers and majority of "the system" would have had it their way, that would have never happened. Not because reunification wasn't an option, but b/c they hated us so. They hated us b/c we advocated for Lydia. We also advocated for Christina when we felt no else was. We learned very quickly this was a no no, but that didn't stop us. THIS was the reason we became foster parents.
You see, if you become a foster parent you will attend the state training that is required in order to do so. In this training you will be told over and over again that your role is to advocate for your foster child. You will be told that reunification is always the goal and to support and facilitate that goal. You will be drilled about the importance of developing relations within the family when appropriate. You will be told, and might even be lucky enough, to watch a video or two, on how horrible the children who enter your home will be. You will be warned of all of the "likely" terrible behaviors and mood disorders you will have to deal with from the children and their families.
That sounds like a challenge right? After hearing all of that, any SANE person would RUN away, and run away FAR! Except, that didn't scare us at all. In fact, we knew all that stuff. I am a Social Worker. I have even worked in foster care. They weren't telling us anything we didn't know. We were ready as ever. BRING IT...
Haaaaaa. What they didn't tell us at all, and what I NEVER experienced in my private agency FC profession, was that you BETTER NOT advocate for your foster child if you're caseworker (who rarely shows up) doesn't agree with you. Encouraging the runaway teenage mom when she is doing well is also not looked on kindly. The bottom line is...What they should have told us in training..."Keep your damn mouths shut and take care of these kids silently, OR ELSE." And i am here to tell you, the "or else" isn't nice.
Because, God forbid you build a relationship with the bio-mom or anyone else. I will never forget one of the many drop offs for a visit with Christina. It was shortly after she had been picked up the first time. She jumped out of the car, excited to see Lydia. I gave her a hug and asked her how she was doing in school. We talked about her grades and school a lot while she was living with us. She looked so proud and told me she was making all A's and B's. I was so proud of her. I gave her another hug and told her how PROUD I was. She is such a smart girl, and it always killed me to watch her waste her educational opportunities away. GET THIS- Later I was told by our caseworker that I was inappropriate b/c Christina wasn't used to be encouraged and praised and I should never do that again. - YES... I am SERIOUS... That is what she said to me.
The list of examples goes on for miles. I wish this was one of the worst, but it's not. My point (to myself) is...Am I really ready to deal with all of this again? B/C the truth is, I am NOT going to be quiet. And I WILL advocate for the children placed in my home! And never, ever would I ever NOT encourage someone who is doing well, whether they were used to it or not! I haven't changed, and neither has the system.
I know, I know... we had a REALLY bad experience. We actually had a few other foster placements go well, but they were private agency and respite placements. I would be willing to accept that it may be better if we were dealing with our county, rather than metro (in Lydia's case). But, I work in our county school system, and I am a Social Worker, so unfortunately, I know that the potential is more than likely not there.
So. What's a foster family to do? It's in our hearts. We know we have been called to do this again. But there are so many buts...We worry how it will/could effect Lydi and Zac. They are our NUMBER ONE. Seth worries about his travels. He worries he isn't even here enough for OUR kids. I know he worries leaving me here with foster kids and our own. He's thoughtful like that. He is the perfect Daddy and Husband. That is not my worry at all. I do have lots though...So WHY am I feeling SOOOOO compelled right now?
I suppose we will sort through this. I hope and pray and know we will. In HIS time, I suppose. ((SIGH)) I don't always like you're time!!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
March 18 (2010) - Took Zachary to the Pediatric Pulmonologist at Vanderbilt's Children's Hospital. He had a sweat test and many other tests. We were scared. But HE answered yet another prayer. You are healthy Zacho. You do not have CF, and we may have gotten to the bottom of your chest issues. That is yet to be determined, but we are hopeful! - Vandy LOST in the NCAA tourney. That mad for a crummy mood mommy, but NOTHING could top the good news we got earlier!
March 19 - HAPPY ADOPTION DAY ZACHY!!! We can't believe it has been 2 years. And we can't believe how ORNERY you have been since the day you turned 2! We try to just laugh, but the constant crying and throwing yourself around is getting a little old. Don't worry sweet coconut creme. We have your number and are taking lots of video to show at your wedding rehearsal! Love you! - PURDUE WON! Daddy was soooo excited and so was Mom. Grandma and Grandpa babysat while we went out with friends that night. We paid dearly for it the next day. But Yaaaaa Purdue!
March 20 - Lazy day at home...Long Naps, lots of play, and watched a lot of Basketball. We also hung out outside with neighbors for a few hours in the sun and windy weather. At least we saw some SUN!
March 21 - Got up, went to Mass. Lydia, you were so good at Mass this week. Way to go Sister! Then we went to get bagels for breakfast. Yuuuum. Came home...laundry, laundry, laundry...Mom and Dad searched for a vacay spot this summer. We still haven't booked anything! Ugh.(Does anyone know of a NICE All-Inclusive place in the Caribbean?) OK, so...More basketball (or beekoball as Zac calls it) b/c Purdue is still alive! We wanted to watch the game at home, for obvious reasons, but we couldn't get it b/c the games are shown regional. So, the next best thing was s local sports bar with the Purdue Alumni Club. We were having a great time. Seth and I have an unspoken agreement. If Purdue is playing, I chase the kids. If Vandy is, he is in charge. So, I spent the evening mostly walking around with the kids. The place is kid friendly with video games and stuff. Towards the end of the game Lydia was sitting at one. Zachary walked towards her and started to climb up to get in on the action. Lydia was having no part of that and swung her arm to shove him off. Zachary is only 6 lbs. lighter than Lydi, but he went flying and jacked his head against the corner of a table. The next thing I know, there is blood and Lydia is hiding underneath the game. Yep...This is life with toddlers. Zachary- this was now your THIRD visit to the same ER and you are barely 2. Seriously? They were able to glue you up. Stitches weren't required. Whew... BUT GUESS WHAT.. BOILER UP! PURDUE WON! We're on to the Sweet 16!
Seth- Can we get that vacation decided upon and leave TOMORROW? I am EXHAUSTED!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Over on Kelly's blog we are talking about our daily schedules, or as I like to call them...ROUTINES! I am all about routines. In fact, you might assume I am on the spectrum the way I do NOT like to deviate. Although, it's almost comical for me to say that since it seems our routine is constantly changing. haha.
So, here's mine as of late...
6:00 AM - Zachary makes his morning appearance into our room. Does he go to Daddy's side? NOPE. He passes right by and walks all the way around the room to ME! Ugh, Good morning Zachy.
6:20 - Start wrestling a snoring Seth to get into the shower.
6:30 - Lydia comes into our room. Proclaiming that she has a dry pull-up! Yaaaa. Only, not so much sweetheart...maybe tomorrow night.
6:45 - Chase Zac around the upstairs trying to dress him; Fight with Lydia over the sleeveless summer dress and sandals she wants to wear on a 20 degree day.
7:00 - Try to brush kids teeth and do Lydia's hair. TRY is the key word there.
7:15 - 7:30 - Give Zachy his 200th does of some sort of antibiotic. Put kids shoes on, give them sippy cups (which often causes issues) of milk and ziplock bag of some sugary cereal that I know I shouldn't...BUT...but I trying to just get them to shut up about having sippy cups and get out the door. Put coats on - which often results in at least one kid yelling how much they hate their winter coats. And honestly, so do I and I am not confined to a 5 point harness car seat.
7:30ish - Seth comes downstairs. We briefly say good morning. We talk about the days Doc. appts. /Swim lessons/Dance/Late Meetings etc...
7:31ish - Sprint upstairs - Check work email, Jump in the shower.
8:00 - Respond to work email, check personal email, IM husband and tell him a million things that I forgot to in the rush of the morning.
8:15 - Plan my day at work according to which student is being naughtiest, or which teacher is screaming for help.
8:30 - Leave for work and work all day
4:00ish - Leave work, About 3x's a week, go to grocery store.
4:30 - Home, check personal email, read my blogs that I love, drink a big fat beer or glass of wine.
5:00 - Start dinner
5:20 - Family home
5:30 - Eat Dinner, Talk about our days, Beg Zachy to Eat. Beg Lydia to stop playing with her food.
6:00 - One of us bathes kids, brush teeth, and jammies on, one of us cleans the kitchen, feed Shaggy
6:45 - Family time - Either have nice quiet time with Seth as the kids play in the playroom OR, play a family game OR, play with them in their playroom or family room, play with Shags.
7:30 - BEDTIME FOR KIDS!! Read books,tuck in, say prayers, KISS and HUG - over and over and over.
7:45 - Tell Lydia to get back in bed and go to sleep.
8:00 - Sit on the couch to watch mindless TV, have another glass of wine or big fat beer. Think about blogging or calling a friend but I tell myself I am too tired.
8:30 - Go back and forth with Seth about what to watch on TV
9:00 - Give in, kiss him goodnight and go upstairs to the bedroom TV. Stop in each of my kids rooms and kiss them while they are sleeping and tell them how much they are LOVED!
9:15 - Brush teeth, etc... Put on Jammers
9:20 - Get in bed. Read my US Weekly, or my Fav Blogs, Get on my laptop and chat with friends on FB. Watch TV
10:00ish - Turn off TV. Turn off Lamp. Shut Down PC.
10:01ish - Say prayers. Close eyes, Go to sleep.
11 - 1 AM - Get woken up when Seth comes to bed. Listen to him brush his teeth and go through his night time "routine" - get annoyed b/c I KNOW I will have a hard time falling back to sleep.
1:30ish- Back to sleep if I am lucky.
So...That's it. Pretty boring. Depending on the time of the year, there is usually a Vanderbilt basketball game, a day on the boat... you know... all those things thrown in. Lately it's, just been A LOT of doc visits (See here where we had a brush of death with Zachy), work and school. I can't wait for SPRING WEATHER!! BRING IT!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I cannot believe that that you are TWO YEARS OLD! Where have the last two years gone? They have gone by so quickly. You are not my baby boy anymore, instead you are mommy's little toddler and before I know it, you will be my little boy growing into my big boy. I can't bear the thought.
I still remember so clearly my first phone call to learn about you. It was a Thursday afternoon. I was in the daycare parking lot about to walk in and pick up your sister. Chills went up and down my body when the call came in. Later that night I spoke with Jenny on the phone for a long time. We clicked. She loved you so much and knew that she was making the right decision for YOU, even if it was breaking her heart.
The day you were born and the next 12 days were the hardest and most confusing days of our lives. Then finally, on that 13th day of your sweet little life we met. Macy handed you to me and the feelings were overwhelming. My heart was full. You were the baby I had been dreaming of. The baby I prayed for and loved, even before I knew you.
Now here we are two whole years later, when it seems all I did was blink and this time has passed.
Today you are a boisterous two year old and you are ALL things BOY! Your favorite thing to do is play basketball. You LOVE it! You also like to watch it and go to games, just as you did football in the fall. You would live outdoors if we would allow you. I can't wait until the Spring weather arrives and we can play together under the sun.
You used to be a great eater, but these days you have decided to change that. I think you are just trying to give me a hard time b/c it worries me so when you don't eat. You talk up a storm and like to sing songs. You can count to twelve and sing your alaphabet. You also recognize lots of numbers and letters! I didn't even know you could do that until you started belting them all out in the bathtub the other night. You are very smart! You can throw one of THE BEST tantrums I have ever seen. And your favorite word is MINE! You are going to make a perfect two year old! ;)
You have a monsterous sweet tooth! Chocolate is by far your favorite food. You have good taste! Your favorite meal is breakfast b/c it's often pancakes or muffins - both of which you LOVE! You are a great sleeper, but you do rise by 6am every morning. You run into our room ready for the day. We are looking forward to the day you sleep a little later. You love your big sister and try to copy everything she does. It's very sweet. You also love your Grandma and Grandpa very much!
You are such my little snuggle bug which I melts my heart! You love, love, love stuffed animals. Your favorites are the blue bunny that Jenny gave you, the "Shaggy' dog that Grandma gave you and the bear family that my Grandma made for me when I was a little girl. I love seeing you carry them around. A few more things you like are trains, hotwheels, legos, balls, and light up toys that sing and blink.
You make us laugh all the time. You keep us on our toes. We have to keep a close eye on you at all times because you climb on everything you can manage to throw your little legs over. It is such a joy to watch you grow and learn and explore your world the way only Zachy would. Every day with you is a new adventure and it's an awesome journey sweet boy.
You will never know how much happiness and FUN you have brought into our lives. The amount of love daddy and I have for you is not something that can be described in words. Your big blue eyes, long eyelashes and naughty smile is forever engraved in our hearts. None of this will ever change!
We are so proud of you Zachy. We are proud and honored to be your mommy and daddy.
HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL BOY!
I just couldn't resist capturing your first TWO YEAR OLD tantrum this morning! You did it in style! All b/c I wouldn't open the star sprinkles that are going on your cake! hehe.
All my love Zachary,