Oh Good Lord - 2010

We have started the year off with a BANG - of lots of crappy illness' that is. Oh my Lord, it's been ROUGH. Seth was sick over Christmas - really sick. It turns out he had a good case of the ole' H1N1. The kids both had some similar symptoms, but not quite as severe as Seth's. Just as everyone on my house was recuperating, GUESS WHO gets sick?? Yours Truly. I ended up going to the Doc the day after my birthday, and I too (although vaccinated for BOTH flu's) had the FLU. I had a fever for 8 straight days. I felt like absolute shit. I can't imagine the people who DON'T get vaccinated and get it. I think I would have probably died. haha. Sounds funny now, but there were times I thought I was drawing near last week.

We went to the lake house this weekend to relax and get better. Lydia and I coughed ALL weekend long. It would have been comical if we weren't both in pain. Zachary's ears started draining this horrible GREEN pussy, nasty stuff. We knew one tube had fallen out, b/c we saw it but no the other.

So, on the way home from the lake yesterday we stopped at the pediatrician. Turns out, double ear infections for both kiddos, and Lydia had some mild walking pneumonia. GREAT. I came home with half of Walgreens pharmacy. To make matters even better, I was literally coughing my head off (but FINALLY fever FREE) and Seth was out of town. Nice huh? NOT SO MUCH.

The kids slept like babies last night which would have been great if I wasn't coughing all night. My house this morning was like a hospital. Lydia was getting a breathing treatment while I was wrestling Zac to the ground to get ear drops in his ears. On top of that, they both had other meds and antibiotics. We got out of the house on time...how, I will never know, but we did.

As the day went on, and my cough was disrupting meeting after meeting, I decided i should probably go back to the Doc too. So on my way home tonight, I had an appt. Why would I even have been surprised that a chest X-Ray showed pneumonia in my lungs and I am now on 4 different meds. UUUGGGHHH.

There, it's Out... I have vented... NOW... I can go and spend my energy and prayers for the thousands and thousands of Haitians who my heart just hearts for. I feel so helpless, and all I want to do is help. I have given $$ but I want to BE THERE!! I want to help people find the resources they need. I want to hug the weeping mother, I want to hold the sickly orphan. I want to raise up the helpless man. I just want to help. And as I immediately received the shot I needed today, and easily went to Walgreens and was handed three other medications that will make me better within days, I can't help but wonder why some of us get so blesses and others just don't.

I am looking at the pharmacy of antibiotics on my counter and wishing sooo badly that I could just give them to someone lying on the street hoping not to lose a limb. My kids ear infections will heal, antibiotic or not. My pneumonia will get better - with rest and warmth. If only I could help. I feel so guilty! That's just how I am feeling these days.