Monday, April 27, 2009

Figuring It all Out

So here we were...with a 5 month old baby, a beautiful happy baby. I remember it feeling a little bit awkward when C left. We had been working so hard to support her and teach her how to mother. We had been to court just a few days before where I told the judge what a wonderful job she was doing. Still to this day, I can tell you that was the truth.

C was so easy to have around. She got herself up for school every morning, was respectful and eager to please. She and I (even though it was only 3 weeks) became close. She was my shadow. She watched me like a hawk and rarely left my side. I remember being a little annoyed at the time. Suddenly all my alone time was gone.

The truth is I loved, and still love C. I have this earning need to scoop her up and save her from the system and family that was failing her. It was heartbreaking to watch. She was just as much of a victim as The Bug, if not more. All we wanted at the time was to find C, make sure she was safe and bring her back home.

That however, wouldn't be the case. C was gone and very soon The Bug would begin calling us Mommy and Daddy. If only the story were to end there...


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