Friday, November 13, 2009


Well, it turns out that Baby Brother is being returned to Christina. Honestly, that makes my heart happy. That means that C is doing well and worked her plan. In my mind she is still a child, neglected by her mom, her grandmother, the state. I am glad to hear that she is fighting back.

By accident I ended up getting the phone number of the man who is over foster care and adoption in the state of TN. I explained my situation and our story. He was very nice, and very professional. he acted distraught to hear of all that we went through and that we will never foster again due to the actions, or lack there of, of DCS. He gave me phone number after phone number of people involved in the case and encouraged me to call, and at the end of this call I actually felt a glimpse of gratitude and remorse from the Department's perspective. Well, as you can probably imagine, that was short lived.

I did as he told me to do. I started with Satan's supervisor, *Shit for Brains. So I called *SFB and started explaining who I was and why I was calling. It only went south from there. It went something like this...

Me: Hi SFB, My name is Katie **** and I am calling b/c we just found out that our daughter's biological brother is in foster care and has been in custody for almost all of his life. He is now 17 months old and we have never once received a call asking for placement, or even a visit. We would like to get to the bottom of this for HER sake.

SFB: Oh, well, Mrs. ****, you do realize that our job is to REUNITE families correct?

(It was clear that she knew exactly who I was... B/C, well, in their dilusional world, if you advocate for the foster children in your home, then of course you are simply trying to steal children out of foster care and adopt them for yourself. Haaaaa. That's why we sent several other babies to other oster homes, and declined a few referrals.) Haaaa again!

Me: Yes, I understand reunification, that is not the point. The point is that this child has been in custody for over a year and a half and never once was given the opportunity to meet her BIOLOGICAL baby brother.

SFB: Well, this child is going home (in a very snotty voice.) This mother has worked her plan. And THIS (as if we kidnapped Lydia from under their eyes) will be going HOME!

Me: GOOD! That is GREAT news for him and for C. That means C is doing well and working her plan. But that is not my point. I want some answers as to why we were never contacted and my daughter has not been able to see her brother.

Me and SFB - Got at it bantering back and forth. She can't seem to understand simple

SFB: Mam, I don't have answers for you. I will have to get back to you.

Me: Of course you don't. GOOD. I will look forward to hearing back from you shortly.

SFB: Uhhh, Uhhhh, well it won't be today. I have other children and emergency situations to deal with.

Me: Of course you do SFB. Goodbye.

Do you think I have heard a word since then?? Hell NO.

So, I call back the "professional, caring, director" I spoke with the first time and was completely dismissed. He assured me he would call me back first thing in the morning. Haaaaa.

Well, I suppose we should cut them all a little break. I am confident SFB has some kind of associates degree in...ummm. probably how to sharpen pencils. Mr. Professional might have a real live college degree giving his ranking in the system. My guess is that is is something like a bachelor's degree in cosmotology.

Who knows... But this I do know... I am not a dentist or a lawyer, or a teacher and I would never be allowed to practice as one without the proper education and lisence. So why do these yahoo's get to "play" SOCIAL WORKER in MY FIELD (that I spent TONS OF MONEY AND TIME to achieve) only to F up REAL PEOPLE'S LIVES??

I don't get it. It hurts my heart.

What to do next? I don't know. Perhaps several of us should ban together from state to state and tell our stories?! Maybe we should all work together to CHANGE things.



  1. I'm sorry you got the run around. I'm not particularly surprised though :( Once we stand up for our children's (foster or adopted) rights we are immediately labeled "bad ones". Talked bad about, pointed at and whispered- ohh watch out they are baby stealers. Heck I've had one CW tell bioparents to my AD's 1/2brothers that they did NOT really want DCS to move the boys to my home b/c I was 'crazy' and never left DCS while my fosterkids were having visits. Uhmm ok, that DCS office is 45mins from where I live- what do you expect me to do? I sit in the car & read a book. We went thru the same thing w/ AD's 1/2 brother's though. They are now adopted in another family and we've never once been allowed contact. And No one can say why or be bothered to answer us about it.

  2. Dr. Phil baby, Dr. Phil. I think they are doing a show pretty soon on adoption, not from the same aspect but therhouse blog is big on adoption and somehow her attorney got on Dr. Phil. Take it to the Media, that's where the attention will make something happen. It's happened her in Oklahoma when 2 children, yes 2 in 18 months died in the hands of their biological parents, when the foster parents wanted to adopt them. It's horrible. I know it's different but it's still horrible!

  3. I would love to enact change but it seems there is so much bureaucracy and nepotism that it is near impossible. I'm telling my story though and trying to make a difference wherever I can.

    Followed your comment on my blog and am now trying to get caught up reading yours. Nice to meet ya!