Right before Christmas, a friend of ours text Seth and asked him if he wanted to go to the Titans game with him. It was last minute and Seth thought about it but opted not to. He was working on a couple projects around the house, and Lydia and I had been gone to visit friends in Florida for a few days and had just returned home. He text him back and told him he couldn't. I was being silly with Seth and said that he was making it sound like "I wouldn't let him go." So...I sent a text to our friend Kurt too. Only instead of sending it to Kurt, I accidentally hit the name above his on my touch screen. I sent it to Zachary's birth father. I didn't even realize that I had done this until a few minutes later when he sent me a text back. I have always kept their numbers in my phone but never thought anything about it.
He asked me who I was and kindly to remind him of how we knew each other. My heart fell to my feet when I saw this and I responded immediately. "K, this is Katie. I am so sorry, I accidentally sent that to you. It was suppose to go to a friend of ours. How are you? I didn't know you had text." - Almost two tears ago, neither his bio mom or dad had text, so this surprised me.
I got excited. I WANT an open adoption for my children, as long as it is healthy. Well, he didn't text me back so I took this as a sign - That this was the wrong number. Even though I was sending regular letters and pictures to them, they have never responded. I figured that their numbers had changed since 2 years ago. I even assumed that perhaps they had moved and were not getting the letters or pictures we were sending. I don't really think about it again until the next night.
He text me back. He told me he knew who I was and that he was sorry. J (Zachy's birth mom), was there at the time and "it still hurts her." I told him I completely understood and I was so sorry for the accidental text. He then asked me about Zachary and asked if I any photos I could send via media. YES!!! TONS AND TONS - how many do you want? Haha. We text back and forth for an hour that night. J was there and was reading my texts too. He said she was excited about them. It was awesome. It was healthy for both of us and a step in what we hope to be a wonderful new journey.
Since then, we continue to be in contact. It's limited and careful, but it's good! He has sent me several pictures of Zachary's biological sisters, who look EXACTLY like him. And, when Zachary appeared one morning with a nasty skin rash last week I was able to text K and ask him if there were any family allergies. He text me back within minutes and we were able to pinpoint the rash immediately.
I can't tell you how HAPPY this makes me. I want my children to have that missing piece. I don't ever want them to hurt, or wonder, or question their biological parents love for them. With that said, I am not stupid. I know there will be some tough times in their lives as they maneuver their way through their birth and adoptive stories. BUT, the less questions and wonder we can avoid for them the better - at least in my eyes. Equally as important is genetic medical history. We got very little with his adoption papers so the opportunity to be able to ask them when something comes up is priceless.
These texts will not discontinue my letters and pictures. I sent them a long letter yesterday with about 30+ pictures enclosed. They recently moved and I would have never known without our recent contact. I simply text K on Sunday and told him I was sending the letter and asked if they still had the same address. he text me with the new one they had just moved too, and also confirmed that they have gotten every letter and all pictures I have ever sent. This makes my heart HAPPY. Did I mention that?
Now, the question is...To send Lydia's birth mom a letter or wait? I am so torn. It's a completely different situation.
When Life Doesn't Turn Out Like You Expected
5 days ago