Summer has taken us over. My kids schedules have gone to hell in a hand basket, short naps (or no naps at all), long days, ball games, late nights, swimming, playing outside...yep, it's been nuts. It's been FUN but it's been nuts, hence my lack of attendance in the blogging world.
Since I am "out of school" for the summer I have had some time at home and it has been nice. I have cleaned out several closets and caught up on laundry and things. Today I just kind of took a break. Baby Bam took a long nap and I just hung out. I thought a lot about random things, something I haven't done in a long time. Here's a few random thoughts that are still lingering.
- My in-laws REALLY bug me. I mean they REALLY annoy me and my sister in law. And then I thanked GOD for her - literally.
- Baby Bam is getting so BIG all the sudden. He has started talking and totally communicating his needs and wants. How did that happen so quickly?
- I am completely annoyed by people who complain about their life and do nothing about it. As I was thinking about this I came up with my reasons why...
- I REALLY wanted to be a school Social Worker but knew I needed my Master's degree, so I went back to school and got my degree.
- During my internships I realized I REALLY wanted to work for myself and contract with school districts, so I graduated, created my resume, sent it out, followed up with badgering phone calls and within months I had TWO new jobs in 2 different school districts.
- Then, I wanted a baby. I wanted a baby so bad it hurt like I have never hurt before and I grieved the loss of my biological children. I grieved just as though they were here on earth and we lost them. This was the hardest time of my life.
- Then I knew I was done grieving. I knew that I wanted a baby and I spent the next two years fighting like hell for my babies. I would not settle. I did not cower in a corner and relish in my own pity. Sure, there were horribly, awful, miserable days and I did cower and I did cry my heart out but I did not stay there. Time after time I got up and somehow carried on. I was born to be a mother. I knew that and I MADE IT HAPPEN!!
As I was thinking of all of this, I felt very proud of myself. I was never an honor student or an over achiever, it's just not my personality. But, my older sister and brothers were, they all graduated with honors and got all kinds of fancy scholarships to college. When they were bringing home all A's on their report card, I was satisfied with my B's and C's. I guess my teachers should have taken a different approach because damn it, don't tell me I can't do something because I will find a way to do it.
Anyway, that is certainly NOT to toot my own horn, I really did go through all those scenario's in my mind. I am here to say now, if you want something bad enough...you WILL find a way to make it happen!! It wasn't LUCK in my case, that's for sure!
OK, other random thoughts of the day included...
- I would really like to move but I live in the same neighborhood as my mom and sister and I LOVE THAT! So am I screwed? Because I would love a bigger house and different yard. Hmmmm.
- What am I going to make for dinner?? I think that is one of the hardest parts of being a mom. It is soooo hard to figure out what is for dinner. I am a terrible cook. In fact, I just plain suck. I try but it just doesn't work out for me. Yes, I know what you are thinking...well, if you want it bad enough...well, I DON'T. I don't care a thing about cooking. I just don't like it. Is that weird?
- And here's the BEST randomness of the day...OK, I am over calling my kids The Bug although that is her nickname) and Baby Bam (and that's his nickname too) on my blog. Who the hell cares. I just posted their rooms last week with their real names plastered all over them.
- Then I thought, I am such a RULE BREAKER. I don't like rules. They bug me. So why I am I making this stupid rule? I'm not. I am breaking it.
LYDIA and ZACHARY - That's their names and that is how I refer to them from now on. Well, most of the time. I will still use Bug and Bam too. I wonder what other rules I can break tonight...
Since I am "out of school" for the summer I have had some time at home and it has been nice. I have cleaned out several closets and caught up on laundry and things. Today I just kind of took a break. Baby Bam took a long nap and I just hung out. I thought a lot about random things, something I haven't done in a long time. Here's a few random thoughts that are still lingering.
- My in-laws REALLY bug me. I mean they REALLY annoy me and my sister in law. And then I thanked GOD for her - literally.
- Baby Bam is getting so BIG all the sudden. He has started talking and totally communicating his needs and wants. How did that happen so quickly?
- I am completely annoyed by people who complain about their life and do nothing about it. As I was thinking about this I came up with my reasons why...
- I REALLY wanted to be a school Social Worker but knew I needed my Master's degree, so I went back to school and got my degree.
- During my internships I realized I REALLY wanted to work for myself and contract with school districts, so I graduated, created my resume, sent it out, followed up with badgering phone calls and within months I had TWO new jobs in 2 different school districts.
- Then, I wanted a baby. I wanted a baby so bad it hurt like I have never hurt before and I grieved the loss of my biological children. I grieved just as though they were here on earth and we lost them. This was the hardest time of my life.
- Then I knew I was done grieving. I knew that I wanted a baby and I spent the next two years fighting like hell for my babies. I would not settle. I did not cower in a corner and relish in my own pity. Sure, there were horribly, awful, miserable days and I did cower and I did cry my heart out but I did not stay there. Time after time I got up and somehow carried on. I was born to be a mother. I knew that and I MADE IT HAPPEN!!
As I was thinking of all of this, I felt very proud of myself. I was never an honor student or an over achiever, it's just not my personality. But, my older sister and brothers were, they all graduated with honors and got all kinds of fancy scholarships to college. When they were bringing home all A's on their report card, I was satisfied with my B's and C's. I guess my teachers should have taken a different approach because damn it, don't tell me I can't do something because I will find a way to do it.
Anyway, that is certainly NOT to toot my own horn, I really did go through all those scenario's in my mind. I am here to say now, if you want something bad enough...you WILL find a way to make it happen!! It wasn't LUCK in my case, that's for sure!
OK, other random thoughts of the day included...
- I would really like to move but I live in the same neighborhood as my mom and sister and I LOVE THAT! So am I screwed? Because I would love a bigger house and different yard. Hmmmm.
- What am I going to make for dinner?? I think that is one of the hardest parts of being a mom. It is soooo hard to figure out what is for dinner. I am a terrible cook. In fact, I just plain suck. I try but it just doesn't work out for me. Yes, I know what you are thinking...well, if you want it bad enough...well, I DON'T. I don't care a thing about cooking. I just don't like it. Is that weird?
- And here's the BEST randomness of the day...OK, I am over calling my kids The Bug although that is her nickname) and Baby Bam (and that's his nickname too) on my blog. Who the hell cares. I just posted their rooms last week with their real names plastered all over them.
- Then I thought, I am such a RULE BREAKER. I don't like rules. They bug me. So why I am I making this stupid rule? I'm not. I am breaking it.
LYDIA and ZACHARY - That's their names and that is how I refer to them from now on. Well, most of the time. I will still use Bug and Bam too. I wonder what other rules I can break tonight...
ALMOST A YEAR AGO
JUST THE OTHER DAY
They are sooo BIG now. How did that happen????
You go girl!!! You should totally be proud of yourself ;) Bam totally looks like a Zachary. I love that name! That is the name we would name baby #4 (hypothetically speaking of course). Did you guys name him? I'm not familiar with his story... Gosh and he totally looks the same as he did a year ago! What a cutie :) I hope your in-laws don't follow your blog! Have a GREAT weekend!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a dork, I just realized I used the word "totally" 3 times in my comment. I swear I am not a valley girl... lol :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny. I had a random thought day too...but I agree completely with your thought on people who complain, but do nothing to change their circumstances. My husband tends to be one of those people. It seems that I am forever saying, "If you're not going to do anything about it, quit griping." Now that I've typed it out here, I admit that it sounds kind of heartless, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteOn a more positive note...your kids are adorable! Have a good weekend.
Girl - there is nothing wrong with breaking a rule or 2, or 3 or 4 and there is nothing wrong with liking yourself! I like you - so why wouldn't you like your self!!! As far as recipes go. I think we need to learn how to do the linky thingymajiggy and do sometype of recipe linky thingymajiggy. Like each week, we post an item and have people post a recipe around that item (say chicken) and then link up? I totally do not know what I am talking about - but I AGREE, it's the hardest thing about being a mom, it's also frustrating to think each day or week or month - what am I making for dinner!!! You In?
ReplyDeletePS - Go give your hubbie "Some" - ha ha ha