Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Jeez, There are so many times in the past week that I have wanted to sit down here at my computer and talk, but I have found that I need to build the courage and get in the mood. It's been a while since I have been here. The emotions were so raw then, and I am finding that they still are. I guess I didn't expect all these feelings to return the way they have.

It has been more difficult than I thought it would be to sit down and relive it all. I remember when we were in the thick of it.The Bug was our foster baby.

We are very social people, and we like to meet our friends out for dinner, or drinks, play dates, or other random outings. We would look forward to getting out. We loved spending time with friends but mostly, escaping our real life, which was so hard at the time. The realities of loosing someone that we had fallen in love with was all too real.

The truth is that people were interested, they were truly, genuinely interested. They meant no harm. In fact, they meant the opposite. They cared about us and had become close to The Bug and so they asked questions, LOTS and LOTS of questions. This still holds true today if we tell someone that she is adopted.

WE LOVED that people wanted to learn and cared about us, but, for us, it was exhausting! We just wanted to be normal. When we went out with friends, all we wanted to do was escape! So, one night I decided that we would NOT discuss it! I declared this to Seth and he agreed.

We were meeting some PURDUE peeps out to watch a bowl game at a local bar and we really just wanted to watch football and escape the realities in front of us. We just wanted to be normal. It worked...Purdue lost their a$$ BUT, as people inquired about The Bug, we would promptly announce.. "We're not talking about that tonight!" And we would direct them to our blog. We found this was the best way to field all the questions without having to tell the stories over and over. We were going to court all the time throughout these two years and the ride was constantly changing.

This became our general rule. And for today I just feel like I need to evoke this rule again. It just seems too hard to go there!!

I so badly want to post about what happened next... I just need to prepare myself first.

We actually saw some SUNSHINE today!! FINALLY!!

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